• Germ: you should download barbie: pet rescue

• Ambuh: luckily we're going to be together forever
• like, you aren't getting away from me
• you won't be sitting in your rocking chair across from krusty, writing old people fanfiction while she pets one of her 100 cats and go, "you remember amber? i wonder what happened to her, i haven't seen her in ages"
• nope
• what will happen though is the same thing except me lying on the ground with an old person broken hip
• laughing really hard and old-person wheezing and going, "i finally get to say it now omg guys"
• "i've fallen and i can't get up"
• germs of course, will be soaking in an old-person bubble bath going "i just never want to leave'

• Lee: TEREZI'S JOB
• Lee: WHAT IS SHE
• Gasp: stamp licker

Threequel

• Germ: What's a funny thing i can do
• Germ: Brainstorm
• Me: Start convulsing
• Me: I hear it's a real icebreaker
• Germ: let me try
• Germ: it didn't work i just peed a little

Texting in school: the sequel

• Germ: He's sitting behind me sort of
• Germ: what can i do that would be funny
• Germ: double pistol??
• Me: Shit yourself and then casually scoop out some of the shit and use it to fingerpaint a funny joke and then make that paper into a shit-piloted airplane and sail that lovecraft his way

Texting in school

• Germ: Sobbing i have such a big dumb crush on him
• Me: You need to KO his girlfriend in a wizard/psiionic duel and then blast him through the chest
• Germ: Of all the plans you've had since we met that's probably your best.

• my butt: i feel like a secret agent
• Ambyoooooo: you are
• my butt: yessssssss
• Ambyoooooo: agent butt_lover_8910
• my butt: 0ofighj
• my butt: well now i feel like a secret agent on gaia
• my butt: but that's not going to stop me from making it my new username
• Ambyoooooo: asdkljfd
• agent butt_lover_8910: if you could behold, you would behold
• agent butt_lover_8910: my new username
• Ambyoooooo: perfection

• Gaspatron: when people literally tell me that they're only here for the art
• Gaspatron: that's like going to a party that someone put a lot of soul into and going right up to the host and seriously saying "i'm only here for the food."
• Gaspatron: and every time they pass the host, they're holding a bag of chips and they call out
• Gaspatron: "STILL ONLY HERE FOR THE FOOD!"
• Gaspatron: "IF IT WEREN'T FOR THIS FOOD, LET ME TELL YOU. I WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE."
• Gaspatron: "THSI FOOD IS THE ONLY REASON I GIVE A SHIT"